The ‘Busyness Cure’: 5 Ways to a More Relaxed Way of Being

What is ‘Busy’?!

I’ve been thinking a lot about busyness lately. It’s feted as some sort of goal we should all be aiming for, but why?!

Sometimes, I get it. When I’m firing on all cylinders, being busy is the biggest buzz to me. It means productivity: acing fun castings, shooting for regular and new clients, getting in my dance and yoga classes and putting out regular posts and pitches.

Yet ‘busy’ doesn’t always mean wholesome productivity. Business can also be a blight. A pressure. A nerve-frayer. Manic frenzy. A source of guilt. The dictionary defines busyness as:

1 – ‘The quality or condition of being busy’ (duh!)
2 – ‘Lively but meaningless activity.’

That second definition resonates with me. When I don’t have much modelling or writing on, I see my sleeping patterns alter: later nights and later mornings. My phone use worsens: Instagram, Facebook and Gmail checked interminably. Yet I’m still somehow knackered and frayed by the end of the day! It’s because the pressure to be ‘busy’ means that I go through the motions: laptop opened on a barely written blog post whilst ‘working at my social media’ on my phone (read: refreshing and refreshing) and, despite a definite lack of industriousness, somehow still ending up in a rush whenever I have to be somewhere.

Think…’busy as a bee’ vs ‘keeping busy’. The bee has purpose, is industrious in its busyness. Whereas ‘keeping busy’ is self-distraction, conforming to social expectation, draining and fairly useless.

My Pukka Retreat

I was lucky enough to go on a two day retreat with Pukka to Poundon House in Oxfordshire.

Poundon House is gorgeous! And aren’t wild flowers so much nicer than strictly planted ones…

I was feeling out of touch with my own body and even my own life due to a switch in the intensity of work and all that effort I’d been putting into gaining weight: I didn’t know if I was hungry, greedy, groggy heavy or just right! Though I’ve had less modelling work on, I’ve not filled up my days with as much writing as I’d like to, and have been careering between too much sleep and restless nights of troubled sleep.

This retreat was exactly what I needed on SO many levels! The ability to earth myself, bare feet on the sun-warmed grass of Poundon House’s gardens.

Made a new friend: Bobo the dog!

The massage, which smoothed out 1/3 of my gnarled and knotted back – a result of contorting myself in dance no doubt (I must book another massage!). We ate Ayurvedic food by mother and daughter team ‘100% Natural‘, which most importantly gave us generous portions but not too much: I realised that I have been overeating a bit lately through habit rather than desire.

There was yoga with the delightful ‘&Sister Yoga‘. A gentle morning yoga as well as an evening Yoga Nidra – more of which later – which I’ve been neglecting a little lately in favour of intense cardio. Little workshops where I learned all about herbs and their benefits (delighting the witch in me!) and made my own bath salts. And there was tea – oh, there was tea – and deep warm, lavender-scented baths and cool, squishy pillows to sink into at a reasonable hour. It was bliss. And it was important.

In my absolute element, learning about teas, herbs and concocting my own potions.

Relaxation

The retreat was important because it reminded me of all the little rituals I must remember to respect if I want to feel calm, grounded and productive whether or not I’m booking lots of jobs. We never allow ourselves to ‘switch off’ these days, but a slower heartbeat, deeper breaths and moments of stillness are possible no matter what your schedule is like. With that in mind, here are my top 5 tips for a relaxed state of being…

1) Smell

Smells are so important to me! Scented candles, such as Mama Moon’s Healing & Meditation for bed time or Focus & Clarity for when I’m writing and get brain flag. Rosemary or Jasmine essential oils from Neals Yard Remedies go into in my oil burner when I want to feel energised. Now the blooms are springing to life all around us, smell all the flowers you pass on your walk to work. It’s a moment of connection to nature, of immersion into the present moment and best of all…It’s free!

We got to make our own teas at Poundon House, which was such a mindful activity: learning about the ingredients, smelling the scents and selecting which best suited the state I was in. I’m now all about Holy Basil for the morning, when I need to focus.

Enjoying the lavender probably!

2) Doing your exercise, but getting the balance right.

We all know the benefits of exercise: a better functioning body and mind. But it’s important to get the balance right, as well as the timing.

Case in point: if I could, I’d probably go to a dance class every day. I’m addicted to the endorphin rush, the sense of achievement and the feeling of community I get from At Your Beat. But most classes are in the evening, meaning I get home late, eat at gone ten o’clock and try to sleep in an utterly wired state.

I think we’re often given the message that if we’re not sweating it out, we’re not doing it right, but gentler disciplines such as Yoga, Tai Chi and Pilates are also incredibly important for balancing the flow of energy around our bodies as well as stretching out tight muscles. I’ve made the resolution to go to one Yin Yoga class a week. With Yin, you hold a pose for 3-7 minutes (generally lying down/sitting ones, with props). It certainly feels uncomfortable at points, but you learn to release into the pose and avoid getting stressed about it. It’s 90 minutes of submerging into yourself and your body: something that our distraction culture discourages.

3) Herbs

As with scents, I have always used herbs to compliment my well-being. Not just in cooking (fresh rosemary and mint are my personal faves, both great for digestion) but in teas and supplements. For example, Shatavari, which I have previously reviewed, helped regulate my periods when I came off the pill.

Ashwagandha is becoming something of a modern day hero. For me, it’s the ‘chill out’ herb. Not to be confused with sleepy herbs like Valerian, which is my go-to when I am having a real bout of insomnia, this is what’s called an ‘adaptogen’: it helps us adapt to the stresses of modern day life. So I take it to help chill me out, but in bolstering my nervous system, it also makes me stronger.

The best way to think of it is…Ever get so tired you can’t get to sleep? Every feel overwhelmed by your work life balance and feel yourself fraying at the seams? That’s when I turn to Ashwagandha.

I prefer taking it like the evening, because that’s when ‘the thoughts’ tend to hit: whirring, whizzing, rebounding annoyances that went unprocessed in the day.  Two capsules taken at night helps me drift off pleasantly, but without the heavy fog that valerian can give me if I take it for too long.

If you’re a little sceptical of this all, then great: it’s the right way to be, wanting to ask questions and explore. I’m pretty excited about Pukka’s latest launch, the 7 Day Kits. There’s a box with 7 teabags and, in a smaller compartment, a small jar with 14 pills in them. I already trialled the ‘Night Time’ one, with Night Time teabags and Valerian pills (above left), when I had a huge job and wanted to ensure 8 hours a night wherever I was staying.

You even get a little leaflet giving you information, recipes and instructions!

The Relax Kit gives you the perfect foray into Pukka’s ‘Relax’ range. The tea has been a firm favourite for over a year now: I was initially attracted by the colours on the box, but soon realised that it was perfect for after dinner and just before I got ready for bed. Fennel is fantastic for digestion, and chamomile flowers are a great option before sleeping as they’re a muscle relaxant (so this is a good tea for ‘peak period’, too). Best of all you can try out Ashwagandha capsules and see if, like me, they really help you relax, too.

Bliss!

2) Meditation

It feels as thought everyone, everywhere is trying to convince us to meditate, but if you’re anything like me, you can be weirdly resistant to it. But this year, I’ve been far more disciplined about meditation and have noticed a real difference. I either give myself ten minutes to simply sit, hands touching my thighs, eyes closed and breathe or I head to Youtube and enter ‘ten minute meditation for sleep/energy/anxiety’. If it’s midnight then I find a five minute one: I’m no Buddhist monk, but it’s still showing a daily commitment.

I loved this circle of crystals and Palo Santo for our yoga!

At the Pukka retreat, I experienced ‘Yoga Nidra’ and it was AMAZING! Try and find a class (they hold a fantastic one at Triyoga, Shoreditch every Sunday)  but if you can’t, check out Youtube. You simply lie and the teacher goes through each part of your body, imagining a ball of energy there or breathing into that part. I’m not sure what happened past my elbows – I wasn’t asleep, but I wasn’t conscious either – but when we were done and I came to I was feeling exquisitely calm.

1) Get out in nature

The other week, I was sat in front of my computer NOT writing the pitch I was feeling too scared to send. So I decided, screw it, it’s a Monday, I’m a freelancer, it’s sunny, I’m going for a walk!

I didn’t take my headphones and I just walked around a local park, listening to the birds and smelling the blossoms all around. We’re often so disconnected from nature but even in urban environments, it’s all around us. Reconnecting with nature is one of the surest ways to get back in touch with the rhythms of our own bodies; rhythms that are frequently obscured by modern living. The hills are alive!

Rebecca x

The 7 Day Kits are only £10 and a fabulous, affordable way to dip your toes into different flavours and supplements. Check out www.pukkaherbs.com for stockists and information on ingredients.

If the retreat is speaking to you, then it’s less than an hour out of London and like stepping into a whole new world! You can check out the glorious Poundon House (seriously, it’s a grand house but not at all stuffy. It’s very welcoming and quaint and calm) on their website here. Have a wedding there and invite me…).

You can see a list of &Sister Retreats here.

Most of the pics (the really good ones!) are by Lydia Collins